I’ve been silent these past months, not by choice but because grief, depression, and crippling anxiety attacks have rendered me immobile. I have felt stationary – unable to muster basic interest in most things besides sleeping, reading, and endlessly scrolling through social media feeds. I’ve still pushed myself everyday; I’ve still gotten out of bed and gone to work, but that in and of itself has caused anxiety as I question my ability to do my job, my career choices, and my prospects for the future.
I’ve previously blogged about my love of Mustangs. For a brief time, I had a Mustang – a pretty 2005 V6 that I put a lot of money into in order to bring her back to life. Then we moved to the Seattle metro area, where traffic was a gnarly, terrifying beast that the Mustang, with 130k miles on it and a lot of quirks, was ill suited to handle. I transitioned to a Fiat 500 and I loved it, but… let’s face it, a Fiat is not a Mustang.
Soooooooo….. I bought a new Mustang! A 2017 V6 I’ve named Luna. Here she is. *pets her lovingly*
I’ve figured out Seattle’s traffic and, since we live on the peninsula, I don’t drive into the city that much. Ferries, Uber/Lyft, and my company’s shuttles get me where I need to be. Planning so many spring and summer adventures in this car!
I had to renew this web address this week and it made me start thinking – I miss this address! I’m going to start using it again and will slowly port my blog posts made in the interim on my other blog over to this one. I just can’t part with this web address!
That being said, I was recently promoted and my workload is WHOA MAMA CRAZY, so blogging is… infrequent at best, at least until I figure out work/life balance!
Since the presidential election, I’ve been unable to find the right words to express how I feel. I jokingly tell people that I’ve put the election results in a file labeled “I’ll deal with it later” and I’ll finally crack it open and tackle it when I’m emotionally able to do so. It’s like I’ve stuck my head in the sand, or I have my hands over my ears and I’m screaming at the entire world: “La-la-lah! I can’t hear you!” While I say these things with my lips curved slightly upward in what might be the beginnin’s of a smile (because smiling hurts these days), I kinda-sorta actually really mean it.
I’m not ready to accept the results. Or… while I’ve accepted them, I’m not ready to deal with the consequences of them. Continue reading “Pulling my head out of the sand – kind of”
I’m going to confess up front that I’m riding a wave of nostalgia right now. It’s sharp, it’s somewhat piercing, and the memories are sometimes so sweet that they make me ache.
I created a Facebook group last night to spur conversation for my graduating high school class’ upcoming 20th year reunion next summer, so my mind is, for the most part, awhirl with memories of life in and around the small town of Hanover, Indiana. This morning on the hour-long ferry commute into Seattle, I pulled out the latest issue of MaryJanesFarm magazine, which is almost a spiritual text to me in its place of importance in my life, and discovered that this particular issue is all about chickens and eggs, with adorable ducks making a few appearances because Mary Jane is, obviously, a genius.
Chickens and ducks – namely the waddling waterfowl – send me right back into my spiral of whimsy.
I have a new obsession. Steve Martin and Edie Brickell’s Bright Star, which is currently running on Broadway. I’m a lifelong lover of bluegrass thanks to my dad, and I got to see Steve, Edie, and Steep Canyon Rangers in concert a few years ago in Indianapolis. It was ahhhhhh-mazing. I’d heard a few snippets of the music from the show, but the cast was on the Today show this past week and performed one of the songs from the show.
I am now 1000000% hooked and can’t wait for the original cast recording to be released this Friday, 4/29. I haven’t been this gaga over a musical since RENT. I’m also planning a quick in-and-out trip to NYC so that I can see this show! I HAVE TO SEE THIS SHOW!
Music owns me. Nothing lets me lose myself like a powerful song. As a writer, I can often envision entire scenes in my head between my characters just because of a melody or refrain. Music soothes my soul or revs me up or inspires me or becomes a companion when I need it. Simply put, I love music.
I’m also still very new to Judaism, and attending Shabbat services on Friday night or Saturday morning means that I’m about to be immersed in Hebrew for an hour or two. Continue reading “Unforgettable Tunes Tuesday”
I’m five weeks into my “official” study of Judaism (official because I’m under the tutelage of a rabbi) and every single week, I learn something new or discover something about myself and my own beliefs that tells me I’m on the right path.
My biggest realization, thus far, is two-fold: 1) I’m completely falling in love with Shabbat; and, 2) Shabbat preparation is challenging.