On the nighshift

Gonna be some sweet sounds
Coming down on the nightshift
I bet you’re singing proud
Oh I bet you’ll pull a crowd
Gonna be a long night
It’s gonna be all right
On the nightshift
Oh you found another home
I know you’re not alone
On the nightshift – (The Commodores – 1985)

Working the nightshift is unique. When I’m work, it doesn’t feel quite like work.  Yeah, I’m walking around our 1M sq. ft. facility, helping employees, answering questions, and dealing with things that come up, but it still feels different from any other job in the Human Resources field that I’ve ever had.  I attribute that to the hours and the fact that I’m not reporting to some psycho CEO anymore.  Things just feel more relaxed when it’s 11:30 at night.  Sure, there are still 400 people in the building and millions of customers clicking “Buy” on our website every second, but it all just feels more relaxed and unhurried than during the day.  Then when I head home, I’m the only one out on the road.  There are no long lines of traffic, no break lights to contend with – it’s just me, my HHR, and the open road (well, if you don’t count the dozens of stoplights).  It gives me time to think, contemplate, listen to the nuts calling in on Coast to Coast AM if I so choose (the Hopi Indians are apparently alien worshippers or something, according to last night’s show), or spend time listening to the old time radio shows saved on my iPhone.  I go to bed when the sun comes up and eat breakfast at 1pm.  Basically, my life is completely different than it was five weeks ago.  I don’t even live in the same place anymore.  Honestly, I’m left feeling a little bit adrift – a home that’s unfamiliar, a job I’m still learning.  Still, there are things to look forward to, like my business trip to Seattle in January (and another on in April.)  I’m finding that my focus is naturally shifting on where it needs to be.  My writing muse is coming back.  I’m anticipating the holiday season, even though I know I’m working mandatory 50 and 60 hours a week between Thanksgiving and Christmas (thanks, online shoppers!) I’m actually excited about things again.  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way.

As I re-read this entry, I realize that I have no point to my thoughts.  They’re all over the place, mixed in with song lyrics.  I probably better go to bed.  After all, the sun is about to come up soon, which is my cue to be asleep!

(I swear, future entries will make more sense.)

Birthday morning ramble

My eyelids are so droopy!  It’s 2:08am on November 12th, which also happens to be my 34th birthday.  I’m forcing myself to stay awake until at least 3am because, starting tomorrow…err…later today, I begin my new work schedule (5p-2a.)  So… yeah… getting used to a new schedule, plus we just moved last weekend, plus I’m also super-sick with a deep chest cold that has left me hacking and gagging and wheezing means that life is still in upheaval.  I love our new place and, four weeks into my new job, I’m enjoying it, too.  But things need to settle down so that I can feel like ME again!

my life got flipped, turned upside down…

I’ve been really neglectful of this blog lately but I can’t help it.  I recently (in the last few weeks) started a new job.  I’m in a leadership role within the operations side of a very large online retailer (you can probably guess which one) and I had to go out of state for orientation, then train on the floor to learn what the associates experience each day.  Now I’m finally beginning to train in my actual role, but when I get home from work, I’m exhausted.  Add to that the fact that we’re moving on Saturday morning and you can see that… well… everything has had to take a backseat.  That being said, I spoiled myself last Friday and bought a new MacBook Pro.  Suddenly, my long-dead writing muse decided to show up again.  (I personally think my muse is a Macwhore.  In the 14 months I didn’t have one, I barely wrote.  Buy a new Mac and BAM – INSPIRATION!)  So now I’m trying to sneak in snippets of writing time, even though all I feel like doing is collapsing into my bed.  Speaking of which, I’m about to do that now…

Just an update…

I haven’t been around to blog much, but in my defense, it’s because life has suddenly gone topsy-turvy.  About three weeks ago, I was doing a job search for my husband and ended up applying for a job in my own field that looked pretty fantastic.  It’s for one of the “top ten” companies in the US and I figured I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting it… but… well… in 12, I start my new job!!!!  It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, it’s a serious (serious SERIOUS) pay increase, and it’s coming at the perfect time.  We also just got approved to move into a townhouse we’ve been lusting over for months, so just two weeks after I get back from orientation and leadership training in Arizona, we’re packing up and leaving this dumpy little house we’ve been renting for the past 4+ years.

Needless to say, I’m kind of overwhelmed right now.  I can’t focus on writing or much of anything, really.  My head is swimming!  I hope to get back on track, but I know it’ll take a while.  Right now, I’m just excited (and nervous) for what’s to come!

Fangirl Corner

In this edition of Fangirl Corner:

I have many obsessions currently (Bomb Girls, reading romances about badass bikers (thanks, Jaci Burton), etc.)  One of my long-standing and most passionate obsessions is for Jensen Ackles. He acts (fantastically).  He’s humble and hilarious. He has a heart of gold.  He’s gorrrrrrrrrrrgeous.

And he sings. And plays guitar.

*swoons*

Anyway, this song and video were released yesterday.  It’s on constant repeat, and not just because he’s so pretty.  *pets him*

The man can sing.

Officially obsessed

In the past 48 hours, I’ve descended into Airstream madness.  (When I want something, I really want it.)  Simply put, I want a 1957 Airstream Bubble.

Here is the outside of one (all photos are not mine):

And after asking Lord Google to see images of the inside of restored Airstreams, I found this article with photos that show exxxxactly how I would want the inside of mine to look (minus that particular guy on the bed, that is):

Want.

Want.

WANT.

Nostalgia and whimsy and…. travel trailers?

Superman had Kryptonite; I have nostalgia and whimsy to bring me to my knees.  And it strikes in the oddest of ways.  I can’t predict when I’m going to be caught in the headwinds of fanciful dreaming – it just happens and sometimes it lasts for days on end.  I woke up this morning feeling moody and exhausted, but once I got to work, I settled into my new, much more private and quiet office (which I just moved into on Monday), popped in my earbuds, turned on my iPod, and called up the playlist of some old friends.  Okay, so I don’t actually know Jim and Marian Jordan, who played Fibber McGee and Molly on a radio show of the same name from the 30s-50s, but I feel like I know them.  Honestly, I’ve been listening to the 800+ episodes I have for so many years now that their voices are comforting to me.  When I can’t sleep at night, I listen to a few of their shows and they lull me to sleep.  When I’m stressed to my very limits, their voices help ease me into a quiet calmness.  They make me nostalgic for a time I never lived through and for things that I couldn’t possibly experience during my lifetime.

Today was one such day where, after listening to Fibber and Molly for most of the day (in between an endless stream of needy employees parading in and out of my office), that sentimental feeling stuck with me.  I came home, fixed supper, and then Tim and I got Roxie ready for her walk.  We went down my favorite little stretch of road in our neighborhood.  Lined with trees and horse pastures, it reminds me of the solitude that my country-girl soul misses since we live within the city limits.  I began telling Tim about my hopes to someday own and restore a vintage travel trailer to use as a writing office. I want to plop it right in the middle of a field, maybe near a big old oak tree. We actually owned one a few years ago but it was just too far damaged to be restored without costing us an arm and a leg, so we sold her (a 1971 New Paris Traveler that I named Gracie) to someone who could restore her.  Even though Gracie is gone, my dream for a travel trailer isn’t gone.  I can practically hear the plunking of the raindrops on the metal roof as I sit inside, sipping on tea and tapping away at my laptop.  This strong desire to get a travel trailer right this very nanosecond led me to tincantourists.com, where the classifieds, filled with pages and pages of adorable travel trailers for sale, invoke such strong stabs of whimsy and longing inside me that it almost hurts.  I mean, here are just a few samples from what is currently for sale on that site.

HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT ONE, TOO???

Anyway, as my Friday night wanes into a 3-day holiday weekend that’s supposed to be filled with rain and relaxation, I hope these gushy, dreamy-eyed notions continue.  They usually lead to creativity and a feeling of lightheartedness – both of which I need right now.

Disconnecting to connect

Spending an afternoon with my grandparents is like falling into a time warp.  For one, they live in the middle of flat Indiana farmland, their house butting up against a thick stand of trees.  There’s no T-Mobile coverage out there, that’s for sure.  They also wouldn’t dream of owning a computer and the neighbors are far enough away that the hijacking of an unprotected wireless network is an impossibility.  Emails don’t come in, calls won’t go out, text messages won’t even send.  In a word, when I’m at my grandparents’ house, I’m simply disconnected.

At first, I’m fidgety.  I’ll check my phone a hundred times, willing emails to magically come through.  That lasts about a half hour before I finally give in to the inevitable – I’m not going to be able to connect with the outside world as long as I’m inside those brick walls.  It’s at that point that I get up from their dining room table (which is the center of all family gatherings), go into the living room, and slide my phone into my purse.  My eyes move over their ancient Zenith TV, which I know will come on later, after everyone leaves, so that they can watch their favorite shows on the RFD channel.  Once I drop back into the chair, I’m now more relaxed.  No internet means no distractions.  This is the point when the conversation actually starts.

Mamaw and Papaw were both born in 1934.  They survived the Depression, then entered their formative years while the entire world was at war.  They were both insulated from it, of course, growing up on farms in central Indiana, but they still have stories of rationing, of family members who went off to war, of the way things used to be. As they talk and as I ask them questions, I get lost in their world – the world of their past, but one of which is unceasingly fascinating to me.  Before I know it, two or three hours have passed.

This was such the case on Saturday.  As I’m in the preparation stage of my World War II-era novel, it has become startlingly clear that if I want to ensure that my manuscript feels authentic, they are the people I need to spend time with.  They remember shortages of sugar and coffee, of how they felt when someone they knew went to war but didn’t come home, and how it was to only get bits and pieces of news.  Researching those experiences teaches me a lot, yeah.  But hearing about them first hand, having the opportunity to wrap my head around the emotions intertwined with those experiences – that stuff is far more powerful than any web query done in the name of research.

I’ve made plans to go back out to their house and ask a lot of questions.  Most of these questions have never been broached by anyone in our family, so in a sense, I’m going to be recording family history.  I want to know everything – from their earliest memories to their lives on their farms to how they met and fell in love.  I want to hear any and all of their recollection of the war years – what it felt like, how they endured shortages and worry, and how it changed them.  I’m so lucky at my age to have them in my life still and I need to take advantage of it before anymore time passes.

Still though, I know I’ll deal with the anxiety of being disconnected from modern society when I’m there.  It happens every time, and my reaction is worse now, thanks to the invention of smartphones and tablet devices.  I’m always, always connected.  The question, though, is connected to what?  Human connection with these people, who are absolute treasures, are worth having to wait a few hours to answer a text message or respond to an email.  I’m wondering if frequent disconnection won’t help me connect to the world around me, and my writing, more.  If that’s the case, I’m game.