I wrote a ton about my faith journey leading up to my conversion to Judaism. Then, I had to write about my faith journey and present it to the rabbinical bet din in order to complete my conversion in 2017. I had to write about my faith journey again years later when I was seeking admittance to the Nazarene graduate school I attended for two years. I wrote about my faith journey one more time not long after, only this time I had to pare it way down and call it my testimony. This was used when I re-affirmed my baptism in 2022 after I had left Judaism and had given my life back to Christ (for real, this time, though). And just a few months ago, I wrote about my faith journey yet again as I worked on the admittance package to the Catholic graduate school I have since transferred to (school resumes Monday!) so that I can finally finish my Master of Arts in Theology. 

All this is to say… I’m tired of rehashing the past. I’m so tired of looking back at where I’ve been. This does not mean that I’m not thankful and grateful for the journey because it has formed who I am; I would not be me without having had the experiences that I have. Yet I’m so tired of telling my story in that way. Sometimes, though, I offer my history up when it wasn’t asked for, and I realized that I have done this to explain the gaps in my church attendance or areas of specific faith practices. I don’t want to do it anymore, though. My eyes – and heart – are firmly focused on the present. To a degree, I try not to focus too much on the future because the world feels so unbalanced and disjointed right now. 

The present is enough. 

Daily private prayer at home. Daily scripture reading. Daily devotion to the Divine Mercy. Weekly Mass attendance. Weekly rosary prayers with my congregation (which, to be honest, is my favorite 22 minutes of each and every week). Monthly reconciliation. 

Going forward, I’m living in the now, with my life tuned to the liturgical calendar that guides the rhythm and the life of the church. At some point, everyone must lay their past to rest, and this is where I am. Thanks be to God!